so today was a beautifull day, sunny all the way through, but I slept in till 1000!!! I woke up and saw that yet again I slept on my hands, bruises this time. I got up ate the best yogurt, peach greentea! i nursed that till 200, i ate half then i whent to get the blowdryer and saw that the garbag can was removed off the scale. open for use! so i stepped on it gingerly, so that the numbers would slower get to their destination, they are too small to read si you have to step lighty, it said 104, the scales off by 7, up or down? I cant remember, i raely weigh myself. Each time i do I hate myself or binge. had my shower, my cat chatted with me as I washed my hair. so i see hipbones more clearly this time, so i dryed my hair, the sound frightened Princcess, she hid behind the toilet, glaring at the thing that produced that horendous noise. I got some water then ran up the stairs then down so i came homn the stairs, 300 times, yeah lame excersise. I whent outside to walk around, today I felt weak and dizzy upoun awakening, after eating and running. i figure if I dont push myself this time I wont get that perfect body. so I came home. dad called me saying he was on his way home from his volenter shift, he bought me cheesecake. well i cant turn up genorosity. so I whent downstairs to visit him, bringing pea soup, he caught me in the middle of wanting soup. So I had soup and he chicken with veggies. We watched the remainder of Bucketlist. I got dad his cake and mine. green tea flavour! kinda sucks, not strong enough.dad had rasberry chocolate, much better than mine. I love the oreo bottom though. well instead of my stomach getting upsett and gettin indegestion after eating alot, i felt the most dizzy with my temples pulseating. I cant for the life of me understand why this happens after eating, mabe I'm getting sick. So the blach guy passes on the movie, he leaves jack nicholsons character a note, this made me rather sad, i felt tears well up inside me, I could hear dads sinus clearing, I knew he was crying, i couldnt bear to see his tears, to see the man who beat me for the first half of my life show some humility is enough, I love my father. I glad he can let himself feel. So i cryed at the old rich guys loss of a friend. I whent upstairs at 500.
At 730 i whent to a meeting. topics were step 1, serender. i tryed to sit still but couldnt. The girl sitting next to me will be in triangle with me on monday, she seams nice, i think we will be great friends, shes funny. the 17 year old who took a year recently was having emotional problems, I hope she getts past them, I want her to make it, not be like the other young ones and bail on AA. So towards the end of the meeting i heard that ring you get in your ears after listening to music, but it was the different one, a different one, it was in waves, I could hear static and faint voices. So i came home, told my aunt. She was like "are you hearing voices, thats a simptom of depression, are you under stress? haveing to much idal time? this is serious, we need to deal with this if its going on" i told her about my past exsperience with this, It felt wierd, not talking about it for 3 years. she said those are servere simptoms, she whent for acupuncture because she had odd feelings when she was depressed. she told me that they are your mental going inward, something like that. when my mind wanders i should think happy thoughts. that is what i do, that why i'm not hating life. I'm knowing that I will get better, things will get better. So i ate salom, gave the cat some, and now they are in bed, i'm going soon too